(Originally posted on SpiritualityandPractice.com on January 17, 2017)

The holidays have come and gone, and I find myself feeling in limbo. I should admit something. I’m known for my no-holds-barred, over-the-top Christmas decorating. But this past year I decided to give myself a “vacation” from Christmas decorating and didn’t do anything at all. I recently ran into a few of my neighbors and the first thing they asked was, “Is everything ok? We didn’t see your decorations and were wondering.” I assured them everything was just fine and that I just needed a little break.

Admittedly the past several years I’ve found it harder and harder to muster the incentive to deck the halls. I’ve questioned why I go to all the trouble when I live alone: Who am I really doing this for? What does it mean for me? But I somehow push through each year and am always glad I did after the fact.

And truth be told, this year I was involved in a holiday variety show and for the finale I created a Christmas tree outfit. So, after creating this I felt like I had done my part.

This year was different for other reasons. I think the mood in the United States definitely dampened my enthusiasm and spirits and I gave over to that. Instead of celebrating, I went into hibernation mode – literally. I spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with friends but after that I shut myself up in my apartment, closed all the blinds, wrapped myself in a blanket, and went into the darkness.

One result of this is that as we’ve progressed into the new year, I’ve found myself not quite in sync with the season. I know why now. I didn’t “mark” the transition into the year in my traditional way by decorating to the rafters.

This has all been a poignant reminder about traditions and rituals. As I’ve heard said, ritual is the punctuation of life. And I didn’t have my usual exclamation point in December! No wonder I’m feeling at sea in the new year.

It has me thinking of what other rituals I could use to help mark the holidays should I find myself wanting a break from decorating again in the future. The easiest answer: Just tone it down. But I will most likely go back to full throttle next year especially since I’ve bought a bunch of new ornaments. (Yay 50% end of season sales!). And once I start decorating, the momentum takes over and the whole thing has a life of its own. As a friend of mine said many years ago, “Oh, so your theme is ‘It’s not done till it’s overdone?!’ ”

I don’t have any ideas for myself at the moment. Now that the seed has been planted I trust some ideas will grow.